Strife

Perhaps I should just freestyle,

Because I haven’t written a rhyme in a while

And my thoughts bring no smiles

To this face, weather beaten and frown lines distinct

Since my basic instinct

Remains survival.

Yet in this jungle

Sustenance there is none and im all but done

Strength has waned

For positivity seems like a lyrical fallacy

As in my though infancy

All I can still see

Remain the closing doors and the lack of windows

The tomorrow I feared came yesterday

And in my bed did I lay

And I thought to pray

Perhaps it would offer my spirit a stay

The hours though went away

And still there remained no way….

 

Used To

Source: Used To

Used To

I used to have everything. Everything my heart desired.
The affections of a woman I cherish, siblings and offspring
A stable career with options for growth
Financial security to feed my habits, positive or otherwise

I used to have everything,
The luxury to take everything for granted
After all, tomorrow was another day
And I could happily be complacent.

Then tomorrow came

Value of Memories

A side note, a footnote, an appendix or a Wikipedia entry

What is the value of memories?

 

Of hands holding, interlocked arms

Of stolen glances, and cheeky kisses

Of silently mouthed words, and screams of laughter

 

What is the value of memories?

 

A foundation, a plan, a fleeting reminder

Of shared travels, exotic to bucolic

Of great abundance, of sparse need

 

What is the value of memories?

 

Of silent sleep, and raunchy awakenings

Of casual Sundays, and formal Wednesdays

 

What is the value of memories?

Than a reminder of what has been, is and could be……

I remember

I remember

The first time I saw you, gliding across the corridor, your dark eyes seated on the milky white areola covered behind the veil that put your faith rather than your body on display
The first time I saw your smile and I knew I’d never have enough of it

I remember
The moment I knew you were the one- when you cupped my face in your arms and kissed me for the first time
The moment I knew I’d love you forever – Even when I’d lost everything your smile remained to remind me I’m worth more

I remember
Laying down next to you
Curling up next to you, your arm around my waist, the other stroking on my chest
With your head resting on my chest, being enveloped in the jasmine scent of your hair

I remember
Watching you sleep, the rise and fall of your chest as you dream about me?
Your legs intertwined in mine

I remember
Listening to the sound of your voice, singing along to words I’d never heard
Seeing the light dance in your eyes as your voice carried through

I remember
Getting lost in the countryside, distracted by the sound of your voice
Walking on the beach alongside you, making fun of the couples we came across
Laying back down and getting lost in the whir of the ceiling fan

I remember

Breaking your heart
Shattering the promise
And seeing every laugh light disappear from your eyes
The ice pack building around your heart
The cold enveloping the room, the silence as you walked away disappointed and angry
Looking back at what we’d built and I’d destroyed for that moment of foolish self-indulgence
The petulant bravado of justification, the self-assurance of memories past
The gravity of the error and the reality and magnitude of loss
I remember
Every beautiful moment,
yet remembering the moment it went dark
Still I hold on,
to the memories and the hope for new memories with you
with each and every breath and heart beat

Love’s Embrace

Some things I cannot vocalize,

Not for a lack of words, but for a lack of finesse

Because your caress, so intense

Do I crave, the soft feel of your finger tips

In their light caress, over my face

Relieving the stress of my existence

In your embrace, close to your face

Where I place my head, unlike on a bed

Your breasts, offer such sweet a rest

With my arms, tracing your laugh lines

Rolling across your neck, into the warm folds of your chest

Your nipples, easy at rest

Offer such a test, of patience to awaken

With a soft caress, do I undress,

To visualize this mistress, in all her best

Placing my lips on her sweet nectars lips

Being enveloped in her scents so intense

To place my hands on her hips

Drawing her ever so closer

To retrace what my eyes have seen

With each loving caress

To embrace in sensual dance

This love making empress

As I seek to arrest

Her emotions and put them to rest

In the safety of my warm embrace

To forever caress

And ease her stress

And to ever moment begin afresh.

This Black Lip Attraction

From behind my veil, even though you can’t see me

I crave for your lips,

That soft piece of flesh gently rounded, curving upwards when you smile.

Looking deeply into my eyes captivated by them

As you lose yourself in them,

I lose myself in the sensation of your lips

 

The flick of your tongue so slow

Moving across the bottom, leaving a trace of glistening wetness across

Shiny,  shimmery. So mesmerising

Intoxicating…

You can’t see me biting my lower lip

Wanting to lose myself in your mouth

 

These lips, darkened by smoke

From the tobacco, whose scent…

 Envelops me as you pull me closer to you

Bringing me ever closer to the  object of my affection

 

 

Those sweet, supple black lips

Losing myself in their taste as you wrap them around mine

Pulling, tugging, tasting

This black lip attraction

Especially on you..

 

 

A thought,with no context

perhaps it is because i am always with you,
that tis distance feels like a chasm,
much like a fantasy, you are my exctasy
like a a psyc trip, am i losing my grip
afraid that i’ll flip and slip
tongue tied without prose nor pose
footlose with no dance moves

my goose is cooked and my metaphors too
twice like the teeth of a vice, i grip
this life and wish it were ice,
to melt from my breath
and drip down my fingers
so easy so free

Alas my dreams are fantasies,
and my wishes not horses,
control i cannot, the ebb and flow of life-
but spectate i refuse,and reuse i dispute
like a totem,i stand tall
and wish to never fall

Will I be better off then?

Will I be better off then,

Sitting across from her, lying in her arms

Laughing about nothing and everything?

Not needing to say anything

To express everything

 

Crying in her arms knowing it’s only her

Who would hear me?

Listening to everything and nothing

And hearing everything?

Shall I have her in my arms?

Or only in my head,

 

Will I be better off then?

Feeling her soft caress

The scent of her soft skin

The warmth of her body next to mine

 

To never want to leave her side

Behind the Veil

I sat across from you, watching you smile even when I couldn’t see it.

And in my mind it was okay.

Your eyes told me everything I needed to hear.

Your laughter, like raindrops on water flows easily from behind this veil.

In my mind’s eye you speak to my soul

And Into your heart I wish to disappear, finding refuge in your soul

 

For now I have your eyes,

That brown pod in a sea of milky whiteness so clear yet so deep

Their inquisitive stare, their knowing glance and disapproving frown

Windows to a soul, gentle and fragile yet tempered and brittle